Why We Fight
by UnholyTomahawk
Summary: Dreams.  Memories.  Are memories dreams?  Are dreams memories?  Or are our dreams just an alternate form of our perception of reality.  Whatever someone may believe, there is one undeniable truth.  Never ignore your dreams.  Slight ShinjixAsuka  Oneshot


Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion. Just having some fun writing with its characters.

Why We Fight

People say that dreams can mean significant things when it comes to your life. I've even heard some conversations saying dreams can show us the future, and lately, I've been hoping that that is true.

I've been having the same dream over and over every night for the past 3 months. It started off fuzzy and I didn't think anything of it, but every night they have gotten clearer and clearer. Each time I understand what is going on a little more and it feels that much more real.

I keep finding myself eager for the day to be over, for the night to come just so I can relive the dream. I know it isn't healthy, but I know better than to talk to my uncle about it, and there isn't anyone else I could even think of talking too. Besides, talking to people isn't really up my alley.

The dreams always start out the same. I'm leaving some sort of apartment complex and talking to an older lady with purple hair. She appeared to be in her mid to late 30s but she was still very beautiful. She was smiling at me as I walked out the door throwing, wave over my shoulder and laughing at whatever she just said. Even though dreams keep getting clearer, her voice and what she is saying still escapes me. She always goes back into the apartment, nuzzling her face in the infants neck that she carried to the door to say goodbye to me. The baby couldn't have been more than a year old. They both seem so happy.

That's when I head down the stairs and I recognize how much older I am. I have to be in my late teens or early 20s. My haircut is basically the same and my clothes are simple but I'm much more muscular than I am now. Its almost like I work out on a daily basis.

When I reach the ground level there is always a group of people waiting for me. There's always 5 of them and one, a beautiful woman with fiery red hair always runs up giving me a passionate kiss and teasing me for taking so long. The others always laugh and tell me to get a move on. My dream always jumps then. Almost like skipping scenes.

One minute I'm talking to these people in front of the apartment and the next I'm walking up a hill to an outlook with them, carrying the beautiful redhead on my back piggyback style. As we walk she whispers words in my ears I can sometimes understand and sometimes not. Other times she just kisses my neck and I can't help but feel warm inside. I feel so happy, just as she seems to be.

The others walking with us seemed so happy as well. A girl with blue hair cut short walks next to a geekier looking guy with glasses, holding his hand. She has a hint of a smile across her face while the guy next to her can't seem to suppress his smile.

The other guy is appears to be a jock of some kind. He is decked out in work out gear and his muscles just appear to be bulging. He is happily chatting with a girl with long brown hair that is pulled back into twin pigtails. She has the smallest blush on her face as her smile doesn't leave her face.

The voices of the conversation come in bits and pieces. Most of it is all small talk, but the voices all seem so indistinct. I really wish I could make out what we are all talking about. We all just seem so happy.

The dream always ends the same way as well. We make it to the top of the lookout as the sun just seems to start to set, its golden glow cast out upon a city like landscape with few, if any skyscrapers. Something must happen in the distance, something sound wise, because we all seem to brighten suddenly, right before buildings start rising out of the ground and towards the sky. As they rise the golden glow of the sun reflects off the buildings as they climb towards the sky…

And then I wake up.

Lately, its been painful waking up. My Uncle has begun to notice things with me in the mornings. The last few times I've woken up with tears in my eyes that I just couldn't stop from flowing. I want what the dream portrays. I want that friendship. I want that feeling of belonging…

Last night's dream was the most real out of them all. I could literally hear and feel everything. Everything was clear. I could hear all the voices and feel the wind on my face as we walked. I could hear the birds in the distance and smell the air.

I understood the conversation as well. It seemed that a major battle had just happened in the city a few days ago and we had been a part of it. Something about me, the red headed beauty and the one with blue hair made us special. We piloted something. Risked our lives for something. Maybe that's why I felt so alive in this dream. I had to live every moment to the fullest.

We reached the top yet again and I could feel the beauty I was carrying's breath on my neck as we waited for what was to come. I could feel every kiss she put on my neck as she we walked and feel her hand slide into mine as she got off my back to enjoy the view.

That was when I finally heard what always caught our attention. It was a siren in the distance. I guess it was a warning to let everyone know that the buildings were indeed rising.

I watched once again in awe as the buildings rose towards the sky, reflecting the sinking suns golden rays. But the dream didn't end like it normally did. I watched the buildings rise to their full glory and saw the small city transform into a magnificent metropolis.

Its only then that I everything starts to fade. I get to see everyone's smiling faces again, including my own, as I feel myself start to wake up. And as everything fades to black and I feel what has to be my reality sinks in, I hear myself say one last thing.

"This is why we fight."

I laid in bed for several minutes remembering everything about the dream as I wait for the tears to stop flowing. It was more painful this time than normal. I could have sworn it was real, but I should have known better. I should have better control over my emotions.

I eventually managed to get myself out of bed to get ready for school. To get ready for another day of my reality. I wanted everything in my dream. Not what I had now. I wanted to know the meaning behind the dreams. The reason for having them.

I didn't dream tonight. I don't know what that means. I feel so empty this morning because of it. These dreams have been what have been keeping me going lately, and now apparently they are gone. Just as quick as they came. No answers to anything, no reasons. Just more pain in my life.

School goes by and I make my way home. My uncle is waiting for me with a letter in his hand. A letter he says is from my father. My father. I tried not to think about him anymore. It only brings pain.

As I look at my fathers letter, I can't help but feel I may be getting those answers I've been wanting about my dreams. My father apparently decided he had a use for me now. His letter simply told me to come. But that didn't surprise me. What did was that he wanted me to come to a city.

I can't help but remember the beautiful images from my dreams. I decide I have no choice to go anyways, so I may as well hold on to some sliver of hope, no matter how pointless it is. So now I'm off to a city to meet my father for the first time in years. A city known as Tokyo 3.

A/N: I don't really know where this came from. It just suddenly hit me and I just had to write it down. Honestly, I have a whole outline on how I could turn this into a full length story, so maybe if everyone is interested and I get some time that could be a possibility. However, my other story Children of Destiny is at the top of my list right now, I just really had to get this out of my mind and in writing. Please review! Would love to hear what you think! Until next time!


End file.
